quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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