Pappa wants mamma naked
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
