No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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