Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
