That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
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The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm too high and old for this...
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