how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize