next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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