i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Less talking, more tequila
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
