Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry markparsons hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

you turned your livingroom into a bong?

Fav 27 4742 880
share tweet
(949): View more from California

Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.

Fav 7 1097 2857
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?

Fav 27 1929 4025
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

Fav 17 3934 1190
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I wish they made helmets for livers.

Fav 12 6000 1151
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays

Fav 17 4603 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

Fav 12 2930 1259
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

I think I died last night.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Yeah, you got carried home

Fav 1 844 566
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!

Fav 0 76 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT