..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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