guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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