i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
