think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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