fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
