I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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