he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
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My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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