I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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