apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
