I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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