I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
