Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Barsexuality is the new black.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
