Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
