Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I FOUND THE LEGS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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