im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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