Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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