oh god the rape fog is back!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my poor anus
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
