Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would fuck him just for his dog
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
