It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
