i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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