I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
