Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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