shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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