"it" just moved
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
