And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
