i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
