We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Nobody cheats on THIS.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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