Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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