I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
