He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize