Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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