ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
