he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
