i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
