Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
