I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize