discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
