I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize