i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
