yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
