I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
