fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
