I'm jealous of your bromance
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My breasts were aching with rage.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
