I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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