when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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