Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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