Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
