just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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