i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize