what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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