Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
