i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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