Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
