I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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