so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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